The Fabric of Our (Hot, Sweaty, Summer) Lives!

See our huge list of things that’ll keep summer from being any steamier than it has to be

The Narrator

Who is The Narrator? Who isn't he: he's a dogged reporter, a worldly wordsmith, an amateur gumshoe and a tastemaker among tastemakers. (He's also certainly, definitely, positively not Neil.) Join him on his next case, won't you...?

July 11, 2024 5:31 pm

Summer’s hot, in more ways than one. But high temperatures, heat waves and broken ACs shouldn’t be wet blankets for you this season. (Although, a wet blanket might feel kinda good in this weather, honestly….) So, what’s the best way to stay cool this summer? I whipped out my press pass and pounded the pavement (and internet) to find out…and managed to dig up some swell stuff that’ll keep any soul-sucking swelter at bay. Even better, my guide will keep you at cucumber levels all day and night. That’s right, all 24 hours. Your clothing should be lightweight for when you’re alert, your bedding crisp for when you’re asleep. Trust me, I’ll keep you cool this summer…literally.

STYLE

Orlebar Brown Maitan Linen Shirt

This vintage-feeling shirt made of fine, 100% Italian linen will make you feel like the main character in a Fellini film. (Hmm, maybe I should get one; I seem to be trapped in film noir….) Linen also wicks away moisture, so make like an ancient Egyptian and make it a staple of your summertime wardrobe. (Not sure it wicks away any spilled gelato, though, so be careful.) The Boss tells me OB — shorthand for the brand name for those in the know — makes a great pair of light, breathable sneakers, too.

Love, Bonito Rei Linen A-Line Maxi Skirt

A maxi skirt is a must for any wardrobe. (Again, according to my source, Ms. X. My background’s less maxi, more mafia….) “They’re super fun to twirl around in,” she tells me. “Plus — bonus! — this skirt has pockets.” Ms. X is easily excited.

Abercrombie & Fitch Baggy Cargo Pant

Speaking of pockets…these cargo pants sport 6 of ‘em, two of which are extra big. Now, as a part-time private dick, my first thoughts upon observing these weren’t about the comfort (supreme) nor the tailoring (perfect), but instead about how many pinched diamond necklaces a crook could hide in them. (Twenty, by the way — 6 in each of the two huge pockets, three in each of the conventionally-sized ones and two more in the back.) Aside from the fact that I’m inadvertently giving ideas to sticky-fingered finks, these trousers are a winner.

A variety of men's and women's lightweight clothing on a beige background — Looking cool is important. Staying cool, more so. Luckily, these pull off both.

Orlebar Brown, Love, Bonito, Abercrombie & Fitch

COS Oversized Grandad-Collar Men’s Shirt and Women’s Shirt Dress

The grandad collar — similar in shape to a Mandarin collar — is a stylish option for anyone, regardless of their grandparent status. Hell, I want one of these, and I’m not a grandad. (Not that I know of; there was that firecracker waitress in Reno decades back….) Anyone of any gender can enjoy the look: the classic, cropped collar looks great on this men’s shirt and this women’s dress. And they’re both oversized, meaning they’re A) breathable as an oxygen tank, and B) in vogue right now. (According to my sources, anyway….)

Lunya Washable Silk Long Robe

I don’t own too many things made of silk, but even a no-frills guy like me can get behind — or into — this robe, because cocooning your bare body in this light, luxurious fabric feels great, pal. Like you’re a king, or queen, or Louis XIV’s houseguest in Versailles. This voluminous, 100% silk robe is oversized for even more breathability. Bonus: Even though it’s silk, it’s machine washable.

Zegna Brown Oasi Lino Pants

Here’s one more stylish item to splurge on: these luxury linen pants. The 100% European material will keep you cool while looking cool. Put a spritz in your hand and you’ll feel like a rich vacationer on The White Lotus — a popular television program I actually watch. (It’s a mystery series, how could I not?) These terrific trousers are cut generously and have an elastic waistband, so they’re also quite comfy.

BEDDING

Buffy Breeze Sheet Set

Architectural Digest says that these eucalyptus sheets are the best, and who am I to argue with such a fine magazine? (I tried freelancing for ‘em once, but the conversation ended when I told the editor I lived in a cold-water flat on the 6th floor of a 6-story walkup.) Well, another storied publication — this one — also gives the set a seal of approval. The eucalyptus fabric is softer than cotton and maximally breathable, and it comes in a set with a fitted sheet, flat sheet and two pillowcases.

Slumber Cloud UltraCool Comforter

I’m not much for technology — I still have a rotary phone and I listen to the ballgame on an old transistor radio — but I am clever enough to know that bedding using a material engineered by NASA to regulate heat in spacesuits is good enough for my bed. It’s made of nylon and spandex, is hypoallergenic, and not only keeps you cool when it’s hot, but also warm when it’s cold. Science! Amazing, ain’t it?

Slumber Cloud UltraCool Pillow

And to cap things off, another item that guarantees cool, comfortable nights (and which also uses a NASA-engineered material). This head rester, from the same company that makes that magical comforter above, also utilizes the same fabric, ensuring that the top of your pillow is as cool as, well, the underside. And if that weren’t enough, the sleep scientists who crafted this dreamy piece of bedding (pun intended…if indeed that is a pun. I’m good at reporting, not being punny) designed it to deliver optimal neck support. Another wonder, truly. And perfect for a well-deserved nap in front of the AC. Which I am now about to do. Sweet dreams, dear reader.